Dearest Elementary Ed. Colleagues,

Please note, I mean the following with utmost respect and love:

Stop.

Using.

Comic.

Sans.

Just stop. Seriously. In the name of Vygotsky and all that is good and holy, just don’t use it ever again, especially if you’re sending it home to parents. You’re making my life a living hell.

You see, like many of you, I’m a parent as well as a teacher. As such, I belong to several online communities comprising other parents, many of whom are not teachers. And, my friends, they share the things you send home.

Within the confines of these secure little parenting groups, they mockingly share the things you send home. And then I have to defend your use of Comic Sans.

OK, I get it. It’s handwriting-like, it’s easy-to-read, and it’s casual. But just… don’t. There are way better handwriting-like fonts, and there are way better easy-to-read fonts, and there are way better fonts to convey the message that your classroom is a fun place to learn.

Trust me.

I know, I know. Back in the day (whenever you define “The Day” to be…), Comic Sans was it. Of the fonts that came with Microsoft Word on your district-issued machine (because what the hell self-respecting teacher has time to download and install fonts using Windows 98?), Comic Sans was the only one that met the criteria. All letters legible to five year-olds with a limited understanding of why the letter a might have that little loopy-do on top? BOOM. SOLD. THIS IS MY FONT FROM HERE ON OUT.

And then we just got stuck. Teachers, brand new to the profession, are still using it… because their professor, cooperating teacher, or first-year mentor suggested it. Because it’s there, and that’s what they used that one time they made a document, or because it was close to the beginning of the alphabet when they scrolled down, looking for a good primary-grades font..

Just. Stop. Using. It.

I’m sick of defending you. I’m sick of explaining that its an easily accessible child-friendly font when there are so many others available. You’re making us all look unprofessional. It’s an easy fix. It’s not 1999 anymore. Installing a new font isn’t a huge process. You just need to click a different ticky-box.

Here’s the thing. Comic Sans is a laughingstock. It’s a punchline. For various reasons, it’s a Thing We Shouldn’t Use (extraneous capitalization intentional). There are so many better options.

So, when it comes to Comic Sans, just stop. Please. It’s really hard to stand up and defend your silly typo that the “Moms Who Brunch In Yoga Pants” are mocking as evidence of your inadequacy when the document they present as evidence is written in Comic Sans. I want to, because I know you’re busy, but… I can’t.

Just. Stop. Please.

Don’t make me come over there.